Steve's 2008 State of the Blog Address

Welcome back everyone after a two-week hiatus, due to one sick baby last Monday night that I was holding for most of the evening because she was sick and would not sleep on her own. Said baby ended up missing 4 days of day care, causing her Mommy and Daddy to split missing 4 days of work, except for the extra two hours of work I got in on Thursday morning before I got the call that she had thrown up at day care when we had tried to take her in. But luckily, after two days where she slept a lot, she is now almost back to normal, which means she is now once again a pain to get to sleep. Ah, but vat can u do?

And now it's time for the State of The Blog Address:

• My fellow bloggers and Blog readers, we have accomplished many things since the start of Steve's blog last year. We have broken new ground. Rebel Blog forces have been quashed. Blog leaders have been captured!!! (30 second applause)
• Sure we have had some losses. I know there are some readers out there who aren't reading Steve's blog as much as they used to. But that's okay. We shall overcome!!! (30 second applause)
• The Democratic bloggers out there accuse me of using my blog for selfish means. But are these people true Blog-Americans? We are the true Blog-Americans!!! (30 second applause)
• Unlike the President of the United States, I do not have to worry about winning reelection. Even if I lost all of my readers, I could still post my blogs and read them myself. And that is what Blog America is all about. Perserverance!!! (30 second applause)
• In the coming year, I am vowing to stay the course. Sure there may be a stray holiday or a sick baby now and again that prevents me from Blogging. But that doesn't mean you aren't always in my thoughts and prayers. Yes, prayers! I said it. Whoever says that Religion and Blogging should be separate is not a true Blog American!!! (60 second applause).
• And finally, some people say that I should just worry about my own Blog, and not about protecting other Blogs. But what price Blog Freedom?!!! (45 second applause)

Commentary: A moving, yet somewhat predictable State of the Blog Address there from Steve. Surely he did not dissapoint his most ardent fans, and whether he swayed any opinions tonight for those who are on the fence about Steve's Blog, that, as usual, remains to be seen.

We now join this week's joke already in progress: ... And so the guy says to the Nun,
"That's one habit I don't want to break." (HA HA HA)

Until next week, LiveStrongly!

Next week: Must there be 50 ways to leave your lover?

Steve's Blog Part Mid Jan

Yes, blog fans. It's that exciting time of the year that I like to call Mid January. It's the time of year when the holidays are over and all of us who have the day off next Monday are looking forward to Martin Luther King day. It is a time to reflect on things. But then again, it is always a time to reflect on things. And it is a time to enjoy one's family. But then again... (we get the joke).

And now it's time for this week's Humortology Forecast: This month's Humortology sign is Kettle-Corn:

When you wake up in the morning, and you step outside, you'll take a deep breath and you'll get real high, and you'll scream at the top of your lungs, "What's goin' on?"

Later in the day, you'll get the sense that it is later in the day than it was earlier. This is normal. Don't panic. Or at least, if you do panic, Panic with Style.

In the evening, enjoy a Good Book or Book on Tape or Scotch Tape or Hop Scotch or Beer with Hops or Lite Beer or Lite Brite or a Bright, Bright, Bright Sun Shiny Day or a Day Break or Breakfast or Fast Times at Ridgemont High or High School of a School of Fish or Fish Sticks or Stick Ball or (this paragraph will self destruct in 15 seconds). Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick (KABOOM!)

And now, this week's joke: What do you call a Seattle rock band who lives in a pineapple under the sea? GrungeBob SquareCords. (HA HA HA)

Well, buh bye for now. Be good (but not too good).

Next week: How a preposition can be a good thing to end a sentence with.

Steve's Blog Part 2008

Well, hello all, and a happy, healthy 2008 to you all (poo poo! (to ward off the evil eye)). Some of you may have noticed that there was no blog last week. Some of you probably didn't notice at all. Some of you were probably even relieved that there was no blog to read. And some of you even did other things in the past two weeks besides thinking about Steve's blog.

But anyway, the reason that there was no blog last Monday night was because... it was New Year's Eve, baby! Me and the Mrs. and the two kiddies were at a big New Year's Eve bash at one of Svetlana's friend's house. Her hubby is an awesome cook, and he made some bitchin' dishes that were to die for, let me tell you. And there was a Karaoke machine, so we all took turns singing lots of songs from the machine. The machine even kept score as to how well it thought you were singing the song. Many of my scores were highly mediocre, but my best score was an 89 out of 100 on Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven, a song that many of you may have heard of. Svetlana and I even danced to that song at the Sweet 16 party where we met, which was over 19 years ago (can you believe it?). It brought back memories. Svetlana was even getting a little teary-eyed. And both Adam and Amy stayed up until Midnight at the party. And believe or not, Adam fell asleep before Amy. She lasted until the way home, and Adam fell asleep around 12:15 and we had to carry him to the car. We even forgot his sneakers at the party, and I went to go get them a couple of days later when I was in Northeast Philly to get my haircut at Svetlana's aunt's house. And while I was picking up the sneaker's, I got to have some more yummy food from Svetlana's friend's husband. So it wasn't all bad.

So why, you may ask, am I rambling on a lot in this blog. Well, because my co-worker said that I had to make this blog twice as long as a normal blog because I missed last week. And I figured, well, I work with this guy, I had better not disobey him, for fears of retaliation or downright sabotage. So Mr. Coworker, I hope you are satisfied with the length of this blog. If it is not up to your standards, I can always add a few more words to next week's blog to make up the difference. But I am trying as hard as I can to fill up space while trying not to say anything worthwhile. I hope it is working. Also, he said to mention my fear of change. So I just did.

And now, this week's joke: The United States' Political System (HA HA HA). Just think, if Hillary becomes President, by the time she is out of office, Chelsea will be almost old enough to run for President herself. And then she can continue the Clinton legacy (Steve, time to wake up!) Oh, I must have been dreaming, back to the blog.

So many of you may have noticed that this week's blog is not really laugh out loud funny. Maybe more of a light chuckle once in a while kind of blog this week. Well, this has been perfectly designed to ensure the highest good for all. (Well, that's what they always say in all of the Psychobabble books).

Before we go, this week's dumb thought: All of the names of the days of the week contain the word "day".

And now, my New Year's Resolution: 640 x 800.

Later, Y'all.

Next week: How to make a wealth stream just by dumping a lot of money into a small body of water (Get it, Wealth Stream). Hoo Boy!