Not to be outdone, Steve's Blog is now ready to bring you his own version of the Oscars--Yes, it's the first annual Blogscars.
And the award for Best New Blog goes to: "Steve's Blog! Welcome to My Blog! Monday, October 29, 2007" --Thank you. I'd like to thank anyone that I've ever met, or walked past on the street, or seen in a movie, including the extras that are supposed to be acting nonchalant in the background, yes, especially you. Without you, none of this blog could be possible.
And the award for best parody of a national holiday or observance goes to: "Steve's Blog: Steve's Blog Part Twah! Monday, November 12, 2007"--Thank you again. I'd like to thank Veterans everywhere for making this blog possible. I'd also like to Ferrero Rocher for making those really good Chocolate Hazelnut candies. Those suckers are really good!
And the award for best parody of a VH1 show (well, we're pretty sure that's what he was parodying) goes to: "Steve's Blog: Steve Blog Part Cat! Monday, November 19, 2007"--I'd like to thank reality shows everywhere for keeping it real, just when television was just getting comfortable being good (ZING!) I'd also like to thank the person who came up with the Alt-Tab function on the computer that lets you toggle back and forth between two screens. That can save you a lot of hassle.
And finally, the award for best parody of an award show using a blog and without using too much thinking goes to: "Steve's Blog: Steve's Blog Part Nominees! February 25, 2008"--I'd like to thank my wife and 2 kids, without whom I'd just be a creepy guy in this mid to late '30's, instead of a creepy guy in his mid to late '30's with a wife and two kids.
And a special award for best joke of the week goes to: "There was a guy who didn't like anti-perspirants so much he wanted to ban rolon (hoo hoo hoo!, those who get that joke)"
And now a super special Next Week Achievement Award goes to: "Next Week: Gerunds vs. Participles"
Your local news is next--Steve
Monday, February 25, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Steve's Blog Part of the Bigger Picture
For this blog, please see my blog about Veteran's Day and replace the words "Veteran's Day" with the words "President's Day". Ok, now I can go to bed.
What, you say that is a cheap trick, and that I should have new material in my blog every blog. You also say that Post-It notes are very useful. Well, after careful deliberation, I agree with you on both counts.
And now, presenting, new material never before seen in Steve's Blog. Material so new it can not be sold in Generic form, and you must buy it in "Brand" form and pay full price, even if you have insurance. Material so fresh it's Superfresh. Material so Giant it's Giant. Material so Genuardi's it's... {we get the joke}.
Ok, here is the new material: Sometimes I have a snack late in the evening, even though I shouldn't. Is this wrong? You make the call.
Ok, that's it for the new material in this week's blog. And now for this week's joke, which may or may not be new. You'll have to guess: Why did the man's life savings get schmeared all over his computer desk? Because he put his money where his mouse is (TEE HEE HEE!)
Coming up next week on Steve's Blog: How every Sudoku puzzle unlocks a secret code that can either change you life.............. or win you a free Happy Meal at Mickey D's.
Asti Spumanti, I mean Asta Manana, I mean cya next week.
What, you say that is a cheap trick, and that I should have new material in my blog every blog. You also say that Post-It notes are very useful. Well, after careful deliberation, I agree with you on both counts.
And now, presenting, new material never before seen in Steve's Blog. Material so new it can not be sold in Generic form, and you must buy it in "Brand" form and pay full price, even if you have insurance. Material so fresh it's Superfresh. Material so Giant it's Giant. Material so Genuardi's it's... {we get the joke}.
Ok, here is the new material: Sometimes I have a snack late in the evening, even though I shouldn't. Is this wrong? You make the call.
Ok, that's it for the new material in this week's blog. And now for this week's joke, which may or may not be new. You'll have to guess: Why did the man's life savings get schmeared all over his computer desk? Because he put his money where his mouse is (TEE HEE HEE!)
Coming up next week on Steve's Blog: How every Sudoku puzzle unlocks a secret code that can either change you life.............. or win you a free Happy Meal at Mickey D's.
Asti Spumanti, I mean Asta Manana, I mean cya next week.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Steve's Blog Part Salt and one Part Pepper
Well, another blog, and so many choices of things to write about. Politics, the Grammy's, Starving Artists, Words that end in "Z"... What's a blogger to do? Well, I think the best thing to do is to start writing and see what comes out. So here goes:
One day the little brown big said to the big brown dog, "Why do all nursery rhymes contain the word "the" somewhere in the story?"
"Woof", said the big brown dog. He wasn't going to talk just because he was in a made up story. He has principles you know. But inside his little mind, the wheels were turning. Whether they were turning fast or slow, we'll never know. If want an answer, then ask Joe Blow.
Suddenly, out from the corner of his eye, the little brown pig caught a glimpse of the future. It was fascinating. "Coming up, on Access Hollywood", the future said, "More stuff to distract you from your own miserable life." And so the future was foretold, to be verified after this commercial break and a celebrity birthday quiz.
Then, slowly, the big brown dog... ran away, never to be see again. Surely this is a metaphor for own lives! Well, it must be, musn't it?! Sure! But what that metaphor is, we'll never guess.
But in an instant the joke of the week appeared: "In United States, we have "Fortune 500". In Russia, we only have MisFortune 500."--Thank you, Mr. Smirnoff
And then, without warning, a preview of next week: Next week, how to expand your vocabulary just by learning new words!
Oink! Oink! Woof! Woof!--Steve
One day the little brown big said to the big brown dog, "Why do all nursery rhymes contain the word "the" somewhere in the story?"
"Woof", said the big brown dog. He wasn't going to talk just because he was in a made up story. He has principles you know. But inside his little mind, the wheels were turning. Whether they were turning fast or slow, we'll never know. If want an answer, then ask Joe Blow.
Suddenly, out from the corner of his eye, the little brown pig caught a glimpse of the future. It was fascinating. "Coming up, on Access Hollywood", the future said, "More stuff to distract you from your own miserable life." And so the future was foretold, to be verified after this commercial break and a celebrity birthday quiz.
Then, slowly, the big brown dog... ran away, never to be see again. Surely this is a metaphor for own lives! Well, it must be, musn't it?! Sure! But what that metaphor is, we'll never guess.
But in an instant the joke of the week appeared: "In United States, we have "Fortune 500". In Russia, we only have MisFortune 500."--Thank you, Mr. Smirnoff
And then, without warning, a preview of next week: Next week, how to expand your vocabulary just by learning new words!
Oink! Oink! Woof! Woof!--Steve
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Steve's Blog Part Super Mardi Gras Double Shot Tue
Well, this blog comes to you a day late (but not a dollar short, because it's still FREE!). Last night, I was, to use the technical term, "pooped". I was so tired that I completely forgot about my blog. Luckily, Paris Hilton left a comment on my last blog posting reminding me that I had forgotten to do the blog. And so today I am writing this blog earlier in the evening to make sure I do it before I go sleepy-pie.
Well, it is a very momentous day. It's Mardi Gras, and it's Super Tuesday. I haven't checked the bars to see if anyone is celebrating, and I haven't checked the election results, so I don't know if anyone is "party"ing. Get it, political party. Hoy Boy! Aren't I great with this topical humor. Maybe they should combine Mardi Gras and the election process. Whichever candidate can get the most beads thrown around their neck wins the race. And anything goes. If the candidates can raise a $100 million for their campaigns, surely they can show a little "sumpin" to win the Presidency. Ya know what I mean, sucka!?
And now we go to Senior Joke Correspondent Dr. Humor for this week's joke: When I get low blood sugar, I start making "Toot" noises and I can't speak. Why, you ask? Because I get Harpo-glycemia. (HA HA HA)
Thanks, Dr. Humor. And now we go to Senior Next Week Correspondent Bob Nextweek: Coming up next week on Steve's blog--How not voting makes you a really swell person. NOT!
Ta Ta for now.
Steve-o
Well, it is a very momentous day. It's Mardi Gras, and it's Super Tuesday. I haven't checked the bars to see if anyone is celebrating, and I haven't checked the election results, so I don't know if anyone is "party"ing. Get it, political party. Hoy Boy! Aren't I great with this topical humor. Maybe they should combine Mardi Gras and the election process. Whichever candidate can get the most beads thrown around their neck wins the race. And anything goes. If the candidates can raise a $100 million for their campaigns, surely they can show a little "sumpin" to win the Presidency. Ya know what I mean, sucka!?
And now we go to Senior Joke Correspondent Dr. Humor for this week's joke: When I get low blood sugar, I start making "Toot" noises and I can't speak. Why, you ask? Because I get Harpo-glycemia. (HA HA HA)
Thanks, Dr. Humor. And now we go to Senior Next Week Correspondent Bob Nextweek: Coming up next week on Steve's blog--How not voting makes you a really swell person. NOT!
Ta Ta for now.
Steve-o
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
