Okay, this week's blog is all about New York. And just so you don't think it is completely off the cuff, I was actually thinking about this bit this morning, and I already came up with two jokes. Admittedly, after that it will be back to cuff status, but let's see what happens.
If New York were settled in the era of game shows, it would be called "IT'S A BRAND NEW... YORK!"
If New York were named by hipsters, it would be called "Brand Spankin' New York!"
If New York were named by Jews, it would be called "Nu? York?"
If New York were named by people who loved words that begin with "Gn" it would be called "Gnu York"........ Good thing it's not.
If New York were filled with vacuum cleaners that cleaned up after Teletubbies, it would be called "Noo-Noo York".
If New York were overtaken by beings from Ork, it could be called "New Mork"
If New York were settled by picky wine makers, it could be called "New Cork"
If New York were settled by animals running on wheels and blocking waterways it could be called "New Hamster Dam"
If New York were overtaken by people from cities like Bombay who loved corned beef it could be called "New Deli"
If New York were dedicated to an Icelandic singer it could be called "New Bjork"
Well, that's all I got for this week. Before I go, I'd like to give a shout out to the person who make the joke comment last week about the Dream of the Blue Turtles. That was very clever.
Program note: There will be no Blog next Monday night as the family and I will be away on vacation. If you like, you can re-read one of my old blogs and delve deeper into its hidden meanings. Or, you could just take it easy.
Later,
Steve
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13 comments:
No blog next week? I don't know what I will do with my Tuesday morning now. This sucks.
Dude, this blog can't take any more than 45 seconds to read and 2 seconds to process. I'm sure you'll find something else to do. Why not work on that impression of Ronald Reagan or Johnny Carson or Kermit the Frog.
I really don't do a Reagan impression but I am already good at the Kermit and Carson impression. I am also good at eating hot dogs without buns.
I am sure you are my friend, I am sure you are...
If NYC were overtaken by Steve's blog, we could change its name to New Yuck
If NYC were overtaken by Steve's blog, we could change its name to New Yuck
New Yuck, good one...lol
I'd like to be a part of it...Steve's blog Steve's blog (get it, sung to tune of New York, New York!)
:-)
Lisa (sis)
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!! - Steve's writing parnter Mike
Steve's Blog Part "Substitute Blogger"
Steve is away on vacation this week, so he has asked me to fill in. Not only was I honored, but I was also slightly turned on. Knowing that Steve had the confidence that I could fill his shoes made me feel all wet and gushy.
....As a substitute myself, I began thinking of some of my old substitute teachers from school. There was Mr. Yankowitz who had a combover that seemed to wrap around his head 4 times. He was a mean S.O.B. I really wanted to take a clipper to his head.
Then Mr. Waldorf who was seriously 90 years old. I remember watching while another kid threw walnuts at him during class. It was funny but very sad at the same time. It wasn't until I became a teacher myself that I really felt for these glorified babysitters. It is one of the toughest jobs in the World. Well, not really but it is definitely a job.
Being a substitute, or fill-in, isn't all it's cracked up to be. Hell, I didn't even get Steve's weekly stipend of 2 cents that blogger.com usually gives him for his ideas. Either way I will leave you with a joke for the day.
"Did you hear that the Professor and Maryanne opened up a Vision Store....yeah, it's called Gilligan's EYEland!!!!", Dr. Humor
Thanks all, and Stay Classy!
Reading your substitute blog makes me long for Steve again. And that's saying alot.
That was a great blog. It brought many memories back from my childhood days.
Steve's blog needs more pictures. I was looking through other blogs and they all have neat pics on them. More pictures, more pictures, more pictures.
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