Steve's Blog Part "Thanksgiving"

And now, some short stories to inspire you at this time of year.

A Mother's Hope

A mother had gone through a difficult time with her children. She felt thankful for her children.

The End.

The Kindness of Strangers

A man met a stranger who was kind to him. He realized later that the stranger was really someone famous. He felt very surprised and grateful.

The End.

Flat Tires

A man had a flat tire. While he was changing the tire, he thought of all the good things in his life. He felt very good.

The End.

The Candy Store

A man went into a candy store and was looking confused. A child, who didn't have a lot of money, thought the man couldn't afford any candy and offered to buy him some. What a kid!

The End.

The Christmas Shoos

A man gets shooed away by some people because he doesn't look very well groomed. Then, one of the people gets to talk to him and realizes he's a very kind, wise man. All ends well, and everyone learns a valuable lesson.

The End.

A Chanukah Miracle

The TiVo, which was only supposed to hold the show in memory for one more day, holds it for eight more days. It's a Miracle!

The End.

The Coin

A man is trying to shut down a UHF station. A beggar asks him for a coin. The coin turns out to be worth $2,000 and helps save the station. Wait, that's from a movie!... Why I oughta!

The End.

The End of The Blog

A man finishes writing his blog. His family generally likes it. One guy is a bit sarcastic about it, but in a fun way. Another guy has to say again why he really didn't like it. Life goes on.

The End.

Steve's Blog Part "All Veterans Eve"

It was the night before Veterans Day, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except me doing this blog.

So anyway, let's take some calls.

We have Caller #1 on the line from Somewhere, USA:

Caller #1: Yes, Steve, what are your predictions for the upcoming election?
Steve: I think you're a bit late there honey. But don't be surprised it Barack Obama pulls it out at the last second.

Caller #2: Steve, my dahling, lawng time reader, first time cawler. So what are you going to be for Halloween this year?
Steve: Hmm. Very strange. Did you realize that Halloween has already passed.
Caller#2: Yep. I was just messing with ya.
Steve: Ok, then, cuz. See ya later. These people.

Caller#3: Could you see yourself being a mirror salesman? Get it? See yourself! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Steve: I'm sorry, but I don't believe you were really asking a question there. You seemed to be telling some sort of joke. Now that you've confused me, on to the next caller.

Caller#4: Who are your comic influences?
Steve: Martin Lawrence and Joey Lawrence. Sheh-nay-nay! Woah! Oh, they crack me up.

Caller#5: Growing up, did you somehow feel that something was missing?
Steve: Yes, I've been upset ever since the guy with the high voice left Supertramp.

Caller#6: Is it true that fools rush in where angels fear to tread?
Steve: Yes.

Caller#7: When all is said and done...
Steve: We're done.

Steve's Blog Part "Election"

Well, the Presidential election is tomorrow. We all know what's at stake. Evidently, both Senators McCain and Obama have realized that Steve's Blog is the only bit of possible advertising space that they have not touched in this campaign. And, my friends, just to spite me for that, they each want to take over Steve's Blog right away, even though the election will be over tomorrow.

But I have very persuasive arguments as to why I should remain at the helm of Steve's Blog.

If Senator McCain is elected as President of Steve's Blog, he will, for the first time, make you pay for reading Steve's Blog. I think that is unconscionable. He will also put a freeze on all new ideas in Steve's Blog. And while it is true that I don't come up with new ideas very often, on the off chance that I should come up with some great ideas, I think that is "that word that I said before". Also, all blogs would have to be pre-screened by Sarah Palin before they were posted. If she didn't get the joke, it wouldn't be allowed to be printed. You know what havoc that would cause.

And if Senator Obama took over Steve's Blog, he would tax all blogs over 250 words. Now it is true that many of my blogs are short. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't have the freedom to make my blog as long as I want! And furthermore, if my blog is long and well-written, Senator Obama proposes to take some of my blog and share it with other less-fortunate blogs whose writers may not be as skilled or as fortunate as I. And finally, he will play the race car and force all blogs to be about NASCAR (What, it's not the race car? Oh, never mind)

Ralph Nader, I believe, is also running for President of Steve's Blog. He thinks that Steve's Blog is wasteful and is not good for the environment. He wants to shut Steve's Blog down outright, without so much as a warning. But just because Steve's Blog is usually written between 10 and 11 O'Clock at night on a Monday, doesn't mean it's not a literary masterpiece every time! One that lifts the human spirit! And takes the country on its back! And rides the wave of cliche right into the next millenium-century-era-period-of-times-of-war-and-inequality-and-lots-of-other-stuff!

So on November 4, (or whenever), vote for Steve to continue as the leader of Steve's Blog. And help keep this country Gradess!

I'm Steve, and I approved this blog.