Well, it's been a few weeks since my last blog. I certainly could have found the time to do one, but alas. And I was going to do one tonight, but now it's too late.
Oh well.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Steve's Blog Part "And the winner is..."
Well, my wife needs to use the computer soon so this will have to be a fast blog. It will have to be so fast that even the most greatest analogy about things being fast will not do it justice.
So, the Oscars. How about that dress that lady was wearing? Did that not make her look like a dog returning from a long frisbee catch with its owner?
And how about that guy with the thing? Unbelievable.
Do you believe that one award. All of those people were nominated, and they gave it to that guy. That really makes me mad. I can't even express what I am feeling right now.
And that lady when she giving her speech, like, she tried to mention all 6 billion people on the planet. Like, what's up with that?
And that musical number, with this thing and that thing and the other thing. It all added up to Bubkes if you ask me. Oy!
And that one commercial with the lady and the guy and they had that thing and then the other person came along. That was actually pretty good.
And the ending was good, when the credits were rolling and it was over. I think that was the best part.
And my friend won the award for best place to watch the Oscars without the sound and close captioning for "That other Mexican restaurant".
The award for best glance at the Oscars while trying to get the kids to bed goes to me, Steve.
And the award for best zonk out on the couch during the Oscars goes to my bride of 12 plus years, Svetlana.
And the award for the last sentence in this blog goes to this sentence.
So, the Oscars. How about that dress that lady was wearing? Did that not make her look like a dog returning from a long frisbee catch with its owner?
And how about that guy with the thing? Unbelievable.
Do you believe that one award. All of those people were nominated, and they gave it to that guy. That really makes me mad. I can't even express what I am feeling right now.
And that lady when she giving her speech, like, she tried to mention all 6 billion people on the planet. Like, what's up with that?
And that musical number, with this thing and that thing and the other thing. It all added up to Bubkes if you ask me. Oy!
And that one commercial with the lady and the guy and they had that thing and then the other person came along. That was actually pretty good.
And the ending was good, when the credits were rolling and it was over. I think that was the best part.
And my friend won the award for best place to watch the Oscars without the sound and close captioning for "That other Mexican restaurant".
The award for best glance at the Oscars while trying to get the kids to bed goes to me, Steve.
And the award for best zonk out on the couch during the Oscars goes to my bride of 12 plus years, Svetlana.
And the award for the last sentence in this blog goes to this sentence.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Steve's Blog Part "Distracted"
While I am writing this blog, I am on the phone with my friend Mike. We'll see how I do with the distraction of another type of media. So far, so good. Although, I don't have a head set or anything so I am bound to get a crick in my neck from holding the phone without my hands you know.
What a coincidence! Mike just asked me if I am going back to my blog tonight. I told him that I am writing one right now. And Mike just said a joke about where they grow blogs like a cranberry blog.
Tonight, Mike went to a Thai restaurant and the hostess, grinning from ear to ear, said to him, "Just one of you tonight?" As opposed to his clones, who had stayed home that night.
If twins came in separately, Mike said we could have a great comedy bit with hilarious consequences.
Mike is now going to tell me how Fawlty Towers teaches life lessons. Mike is taking a while to get to the punchline. He said that, similar to an episode of Fawlty Towers, he was too embarrassed to call or email about his dance lesson so he was going to drive down there to see if he really had a lesson. He decided to email instead, which was a good thing, because they emailed him back to tell him they were on their way to Ireland. He had actually missed his lesson last week, and they wondered why he didn't show up. So don't be afraid to confront the truth, to save yourself some gas.
And now, I am going to read the blog to Mike. We'll see what he thinks. Mike is laughing, and, as usual, is thinking of all sorts of permutations and add ons to the blog material. But the blog is getting too long. We'll have Mike say goodbye. Mike says: Life is like Ocean Spray commercials. It's all about blogs and bogs.
Goodnight!
What a coincidence! Mike just asked me if I am going back to my blog tonight. I told him that I am writing one right now. And Mike just said a joke about where they grow blogs like a cranberry blog.
Tonight, Mike went to a Thai restaurant and the hostess, grinning from ear to ear, said to him, "Just one of you tonight?" As opposed to his clones, who had stayed home that night.
If twins came in separately, Mike said we could have a great comedy bit with hilarious consequences.
Mike is now going to tell me how Fawlty Towers teaches life lessons. Mike is taking a while to get to the punchline. He said that, similar to an episode of Fawlty Towers, he was too embarrassed to call or email about his dance lesson so he was going to drive down there to see if he really had a lesson. He decided to email instead, which was a good thing, because they emailed him back to tell him they were on their way to Ireland. He had actually missed his lesson last week, and they wondered why he didn't show up. So don't be afraid to confront the truth, to save yourself some gas.
And now, I am going to read the blog to Mike. We'll see what he thinks. Mike is laughing, and, as usual, is thinking of all sorts of permutations and add ons to the blog material. But the blog is getting too long. We'll have Mike say goodbye. Mike says: Life is like Ocean Spray commercials. It's all about blogs and bogs.
Goodnight!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Steve's Blog Part "Facebook"
One great thing about Facebook is all of the cool groups you can create or join. If you are not on Facebook, this blog probably will not make much sense, but anyhoo, here goes.
Here are the Top Ten Groups that I'd like to create:
10: People who love words that contain the letter "E".
9: People who worship Steven Gradess like the man goddess he is.
8: People who were born on July 20, 1971 and are also good at solving Rubix Cubes.
7: People who graduated high school.
6: People, people who love people...
5: People who are fed up with people who are fed up, and also like Pat Benatar.
4: People who remember things in their hometown that are no longer there.
3: People who only watched the first 40 minutes of every Love Boat episode and therefore think that nothing ever works out.
2: People who are still searching for a word to rhyme with orange after all of these years.
1: People who like reading to the end of blogs.
Here are the Top Ten Groups that I'd like to create:
10: People who love words that contain the letter "E".
9: People who worship Steven Gradess like the man goddess he is.
8: People who were born on July 20, 1971 and are also good at solving Rubix Cubes.
7: People who graduated high school.
6: People, people who love people...
5: People who are fed up with people who are fed up, and also like Pat Benatar.
4: People who remember things in their hometown that are no longer there.
3: People who only watched the first 40 minutes of every Love Boat episode and therefore think that nothing ever works out.
2: People who are still searching for a word to rhyme with orange after all of these years.
1: People who like reading to the end of blogs.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Steve's Blog Part "Not What You Would Think"
Most of you would probably think that I would write a blog today about the Eagles. But no, today, I truly want to appeal to everybody. And what do we have in common. We all started out as a one-celled creature. So here are some jokes about one-celled creatures.
How does a one-celled creature call his friend? On his One-Cell Phone.
How did the one-celled salesman get the people to buy the product? He went for the hard cell.
Why did the amoeba (a one-celled animal) go to a personal trainer? So he could stay out of shape.
What happened to the one-celled couple when they were having problems? They split up.
What do one-celled kids play with? Cell-y putty.
What is the favorite battery of one-celled animals? Duh. Dura-cell.
How did the one-celled animal say goodbye to the other one-celled animal? Nice to cell you. Cell you later.
Well, that's all of the one-celled jokes I have for tonight. It really brings you back to when you were a one-celled creature, doesn't it?
Alright, GO EAGLES!
How does a one-celled creature call his friend? On his One-Cell Phone.
How did the one-celled salesman get the people to buy the product? He went for the hard cell.
Why did the amoeba (a one-celled animal) go to a personal trainer? So he could stay out of shape.
What happened to the one-celled couple when they were having problems? They split up.
What do one-celled kids play with? Cell-y putty.
What is the favorite battery of one-celled animals? Duh. Dura-cell.
How did the one-celled animal say goodbye to the other one-celled animal? Nice to cell you. Cell you later.
Well, that's all of the one-celled jokes I have for tonight. It really brings you back to when you were a one-celled creature, doesn't it?
Alright, GO EAGLES!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Steve's Blog Part "KBLG"
Welcome to KBLG, your super blog radio station. I'm your host, DJ M.C. Humor, and we got some great songs for you tonight, and they're all about blogs.
First off, it's a peppy little number that goes a little something like this:
Don't just sit there
like a bump on a log
Go on
and write your blog.
You can write about airplanes
or cranberries in bogs
As long as
you call it--a blog.
Ok, just a little sampling of that one. And now on to a little folksy ditty that goes a little sumptin' like dis:
If I had a blog,
I'd blog in the morning
I'd blog in the evening
All over this land
I'd blog for nonsense
I'd blog for no reason
I'd send a link, to,
My sisters and brothers
My friends and coworkers
All over this land.
Awesome! And now a rockin' tune from America's greatest hard rock blogger, Bloggy Blogsbourne:
Blogging
That's how I roll
I learned how to blog
Blogging wherever I go-o-o.
Criticism
Won't change me
I'll blog until I break
I'm going on with a rant
On a blogging train...
And finally, before we go to break, a blog song leftover from the holidays:
Little blogs, little blogs
Little blogs rock
'Cause if they're too long
You won't stay for long
Ranting and raving
enough for one day
Now it's time
To say Hooray!
And that's... this week's.... blog...........
First off, it's a peppy little number that goes a little something like this:
Don't just sit there
like a bump on a log
Go on
and write your blog.
You can write about airplanes
or cranberries in bogs
As long as
you call it--a blog.
Ok, just a little sampling of that one. And now on to a little folksy ditty that goes a little sumptin' like dis:
If I had a blog,
I'd blog in the morning
I'd blog in the evening
All over this land
I'd blog for nonsense
I'd blog for no reason
I'd send a link, to,
My sisters and brothers
My friends and coworkers
All over this land.
Awesome! And now a rockin' tune from America's greatest hard rock blogger, Bloggy Blogsbourne:
Blogging
That's how I roll
I learned how to blog
Blogging wherever I go-o-o.
Criticism
Won't change me
I'll blog until I break
I'm going on with a rant
On a blogging train...
And finally, before we go to break, a blog song leftover from the holidays:
Little blogs, little blogs
Little blogs rock
'Cause if they're too long
You won't stay for long
Ranting and raving
enough for one day
Now it's time
To say Hooray!
And that's... this week's.... blog...........
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